5/31

Love.

Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting that they won't.

5/25

Where are you?
I don't know.. where you are.

5/20

Today was rather odd.
I was approached while conducting my normal activities ( if you know what I am referring to then perfect.) These people ( men ) waited until I finished. I was unaware that they were even there. I had lost myself in the moment, shame on me. That could have opened a Pandora's Box. Fortunately, they were just awe stricken. Looking like they had seen a ghost, which this concerned me. I slowly removed my breathing apparatus, followed directly by my headphones ( because I seldom go anywhere without them now. ) They stuttered when they spoke to me, and I was panting because it was hard for me to change from breathing like that to.. open contaminated air. "Are.. are.. you.. NEM?" All I could do was kind of mutter.. yeah and point. Instantly, they replied with "Holy shit, you.. you're like a God. We idolize you." All that came out was "No, no.. ( insert nervous laugh ) You don't have to do that, I'm just another dude. No God here." Probably not the best answer, but it was all I could come up with. They nervously interrogated me. "How do you do.. what you do?" I slowly opened up to them, evidently they were there for the same reason I was. Small world, eh? They poured out some more things, apparently they tried to emulate "My style." When they saw my work, they wanted to "Be like me." At this point, all I could do was laugh. Solely because, I'm not used to this shit. As well, I'm not one for this type of attention. All I could say was.. "Don't be like me, I'm me. Ya'll need to do YOU." Yes, I literally said "Ya'll." I'll close this out now by saying..
After they left, I could completely relate. All these things, I would be inclined to ask if I had met someone I idolized. They restored my resolve, accelerated my motivation. Although, these both were not completely tattered.. sometimes I beat myself into the ground on what I do. Now, I have met people who want to see me. Or.. him. From what was expressed to me, a lot of people have seen me.. without knowing it's me. All because of one simple accent to something that's already there.

It's been said people like myself have enormous Egos. Maybe I'm just trying to share myself with people.. without the obligations. My part in this counterculture is solely to show that I exist. God? Naw.. Just some person who utilizes the world as his canvas. No spotlight on me, just let me catch your attention once in a while. Then just like the instant you saw it, I'll fade back to the calm and quiet. I do it, for me. I do it, to share something with someone without doing anything at all.

God..

5/19

It has become very clear to me, that I am necessary.

Wish right now..

This has to be one of the better songs I have admitted to liking, lately.



The song is able to make me think about things that I normally don't.
Suppose I found a way to relate. I can feel it, sure can feel it. It's not one of those instances where I feel depressed, or anything negative. I am able to think with an incredible sense of clarity. It's refreshing, it really is.

It's incoherent, but it makes sense to me.

Currently, my wrist is itching me. This is an reoccurring issue. I'm squinting now, all because even though I feel as though my mind is operating on the bare minimum.. it wanders. Words can't describe what visions I have, when I close my eyes. But, I know how it feels.

But the unfortunate thing is..
My art has no place in this world.
I just make the world.. make room for it, and myself.