Control

I lost it today.
I should have had a better handle on it.
Someone saw a side of me that no one should ever see.
Provoked, or not.. I have no right to behave that way.
Anger made me shake. Violently.
My heart, pounded forcing the blood all throughout my body.
Veins coursing.

I didn't even hear the words being cried out.
Couldn't hear the crying..

He was my enemy.
So, I dealt with him.

I wonder though..
Who now, has the most regret?
Is it him? Or is it myself?

Grip

The tightest grip, I retain..
Is not physically.
It's mentally.

I am forced to hold on.
Because they're calling..
I don't want to go.
This descent would surely kill me..

I continue to look upwards.
There.
All around me, I see nothing.
But above me, there is the smallest image of everything.

Hope.
Love.
Luck.
Opportunity.

If I let go, I'll lose it all.
If I reach, I'll risk it all.

Panting..
I woke up.

Today

Think of one thing, today..
That matters.
That matters, to you.
Trivial, or not.

Audience of one

"We're all okay, until the day we're not. The surface shines, while the insides rot."

Smile!

"Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head."

Consumed..

It's inside me.
I can feel it, overpowering me.
Needing..
Needing to feed.

There is still some traces of me..
Something is still there.
I'll let you out.
They need to realize..

Realize sheer terror.

You thought it would go unnoticed?
Perhaps, I was afraid.
Do you understand now?
Methodical, I have to be.
Once "it's" out, there is no sanctuary.

Everybody dies tonight.

I can still comprehend, yet I choose to ignore it.
There is beauty, in this.
What you once cherished as you power..
Forced people into fear.
Forced submission..
Removed their will, and consumed their soul..
Forced the life out of them..

I give back to you.

All of it.
You can have.

When Lucifer is found in Paradise by two Cherubs, he rebukes them for not recognizing him. They rebuke right back saying that his appearance has changed from being in Hell. "So spake the Cherub; and his grave rebuke, Severe in youthful beauty, added grace Invincible: Abashed the Devil stood, And felt how awful goodness is, and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely; saw, and pined His loss"

Remorse?
I shan't entertain it.
Goodbye..

You parasite..

Before, I chose you.
At a whim.
The exchange would go on and on it would seem.
Then, after trying to recall what had transpired..
The cycle stops.
This waltz with you would go on for some time, however.. I was "The lead."
It was very subtle, but I was becoming aware of the change.
You seemed to ignore me, I had to try harder for you to acknowledge me.
After a cliche "Cat and Mouse" you would give in, and we would dance again.
I would think nothing of this because.. we still remained.
Another card dealt, another hand played.
What once seemed as such a joy, was becoming withered.
The petals on this "flower" dropping one, by one.
You now made every effort to shun me, until I was forced to exert myself to the fullest.

Focused more on your attention, I ignored the inner candle burning..
Burning out.
Dimming, by each breath.
Smaller by each day.
I am now, stone cold.
With that final blow, is when I saw a glimpse of the past.
A smile.
Not as warm as the ones I had remembered.
The smile was cold, and deceptive.
You caught me.
You broke me.
I felt it overcome me.
Now, I will return it all.

I have taken control.
Power, restored.
Knowledge, reborn.
Faith, cast aside..
Ego, shattered.

You need to feed off of me, and I will give you a small portion.
A meager helping of what you once had.
Many, hold a place for you in their heart.
Hate.
Learn now, what occurs when you bite the hand that feeds you.
To me, it is not hard to continue doing what brings harm..

Without pain, we know no love.
Without anger, we have no calm.
Without fear, we have no comfort..

Without me, you have..
Nothing.

Parasite.