Gifts..

"Given to me were three things, that day. My eyes, my hands.. and my mind. So, I may see what may be in front of me. My hands so that I can touch.. these things and know the simple pleasures of the small feelings of tangible things.. in this world. And my mind, to engulf itself with the wonders.. of what could be. To process all of these things, the other two can not. To decipher without touching and seeing.. what the world holds... and the people in it."

Confused..

I can't figure this out, myself. Meaning I can't figure out.. myself. What are you trying to say to me? Am I saying anything, to you? Should I be thinking about you, if.. you are thinking about me? Am I the only one, thinking. Over thinking, maybe I am under thinking? I wonder, what you.. are thinking. Could it be, that you are thinking about me, thinking. Or, perhaps you are thinking about me thinking.. and thinking that I am thinking.. about you?

Maybe I am.. the only one thinking, but I can't stop now. It/ you are inside my mind now. You stay there with the other mess of things that.. I continue to think about. You, however.. are different. There is the intrigue, yet.. I don't know if I should be allowing my mind to think that far into this. Into, you. You have over taken my mind, as of late. Never did you reside so comfortably inside, of this mind.. of mine.

Is it the thrill of the hunt, that grips me? Yet, I have done no hunting? The fact that you dance inside my mind with your words, confusing me? I can not place my finger on what it is, exactly that is moving my mind in all types of directions. Your words, they grace me.. yet send me into depths of constant quizzing and questions. Interrogation, of myself. But, why? Haven't found that piece, that links me.. My mind.. to you.

This is all so confusing to me, not being able to press my hand on to my face... and clear my mind. Clear it of all the things, that I can not make sense of.. Keeping me confused. Is constant now, this ongoing pursuit of the "Thing" that will make me understand.

It's silly really, because I can place my finger on it. But when I do, it opens up another overpowering barrage of mysteries that I can not put to rest. So, I know what it is that is making you stay in my mind.. using my brain to test.. me. It's YOU. "You" are what is confusing to me, but I am confused about being confused. Now, that is confusing. It's confusing to me, because am I confused about you.. truly? Or am I confused as to what you are saying to me? You confuse me..

But why...

"The Times.. they are A-Changing"

I have seemed to stumble upon something in this ongoing continuation of my days, or shall I call it.. "Life." Many people before me have had my ideas, my concepts, feelings, and theories. Some things transcend history, I have learned. Something so simple I may have enlightened myself to, possibly because I wasn't looking. Some people base a lot of their decisions and thoughts upon facts, however I have found that the most simple things hold the most intriguing historical and profound chronological information. For example, if you look back in things like music it will depict years/times. Music is the perfect outlet or informational tool in this "Theory" of mine. Dare I say, that in years past music really held a motivational presence. As well, it also held a strong negative connotation. Even though in this day and age, we have numerous "Technological Outlets" and "Resources" like anything else.. These are "watered down" and or manipulated. As they most likely were in our years behind us, but just walk back for a little. Walk back, and see the emotional out pour that some of the people of history and those times have blessed us with. Even if you do not like the genre, per say.. Listen. Absorb the words and emotions of our "Ancestors or Elders" or.. family. Just take in all of what they are saying, and soak it all in. In this day and age, as busy as we are.. in one moment it could all vanish. Just be wiped.. away. But, the songs.. words.. emotions.. that these people have graced us with.. are timeless.

We'll never know what truly transpired before "Our Time" and quite possibly, someone similar to myself or yourself may have this same thought. We all know that ( outside of places in particular circumstances ) information and theories are recycled. No one creates a thought on their own. It is based off of something learned. Shared information is how we continue to advance. We take what we are given from one, and bestow it upon another. Willing, or not. But, is it all of what was intended? Or did we just take what we wanted from it.. and make it "Our Own?"

In my eyes, for the raw input on some things.. as small and meager as it may be. Look into music, look into small things deemed "Poems" or.. thoughts. Dig into some things that may be nonsensical. There is always something underlying with informational value. Extract it, and piece things together for yourself.

Because in essence, that is what we have done.. chronologically.

Thank you, to whomever may have read this. I hope it may have sparked some sort of curiosity and/ or interest into your history. Our history.


Watch the enclosed video, and hear out the words. It was the whole underlying concept to this "rant."

From the Mind, of the Misunderstood...

I can't deny this feeling. It's there, unsettling. I awake, it staying with me. Like anything else, I try to ignore it being present. But, who am I fooling? Not you, certainly not me. I talk, yet the words I let pour out from my mouth have no value. They are just things I have to say, or need to say to get by. To pass the time. My interest is elsewhere, already devoted to this dark cloud looming. I have accepted it as a part of me, yet at a moments notice I would denounce it.. If I could. I would give anything to just cast it aside like some form of garbage. Like something unimportant and trivial, but it's not. I'm infected, letting it become a whole.. In my being. Is this fear? I once thought I knew what that was, I thought I had mastery over my emotions. It would seem, that it has all been a farce. Or maybe I just diluted my mind in believing I could decipher the difference. Could it have been I have been an egomaniac all this time? Thinking I was above these type of feelings? Elevating myself to some false plateau? Did I just create some illusion?

And now I stand here all alone, nothing more important then one thing. Time. Time, like the sands in an hour glass with just continue to flow. That final grain of sand I will await. I would like to see it coming, but I know that is far fetched. That would be the thoughts of some "Elitist." Humbling really, this is. Yet, that everlasting urge taunts me. I know why, I am here at this desolate area. It was because of me. I alone, made this "Wasteland" per say. Flooding this post, my emotions just pour out. Maybe some will understand, most will not. But we have all carried some underlying pain, it is inevitable as humans. Almost as though, we were born for error. Born for pain, born to self destruct. Take the worst thing anyone you know has experience and dig deep into it. There is always a lesson to be learned in everything, be it a simple theft. Or some sort of brawl, or even a broken relationship. If we do not learn from our mistakes, or the mistakes of others.. History is bound to repeat itself.

What will I do tomorrow, I am unsure. What will you do tomorrow? They say to pursue dreams, and live life with no regrets...

But, that is the words of a maniac.
Maybe I will lose this urge soon..

However, I can't say for sure...

"Loyalty among some, is Priceless. Loyalty among others, is wasted."

Fine Line

There is a thin line between Good, and Evil.

We are supposed to be able to decipher between these two.
Does one "Good" deed make "Him" a "Hero?"

It is supposed to be simple, but yet as it stands now..


It is not..