I lost it today.
I should have had a better handle on it.
Someone saw a side of me that no one should ever see.
Provoked, or not.. I have no right to behave that way.
Anger made me shake. Violently.
My heart, pounded forcing the blood all throughout my body.
Veins coursing.
I didn't even hear the words being cried out.
Couldn't hear the crying..
He was my enemy.
So, I dealt with him.
I wonder though..
Who now, has the most regret?
Is it him? Or is it myself?
Maybe
ReplyDeleteit
is
you and him
both.
I wonder
what
happened.
More then likely I am the only one with remorse.
ReplyDeleteI
ReplyDeletefigure it
pretty much
was
bad,
then.
Mm.
Perhaps something you are not proud of, is bad. If we have no remorse when we do something "wrong" does that then make it "acceptable?" I suppose I may have predetermined it to be "bad" by immediately becoming aware that I was unhappy with my actions.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if I could convince myself that it is acceptable...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIf you try to convince yourself of something that wasn't an option in the first place, you're bullshitting yourself. You probably have a reason to feel bad, but that doesn't mean it's unexplainable OR unfruitful.
ReplyDeleteYou're a smart and perceptive person, but even smart and perceptive people make mistakes. What's good though, is that they have the insight to understand the nature of it and not brush it off as "acceptable" in order to feel better about themselves.
Love ya
I guess
ReplyDeleteit becomes
acceptable
as
we
do
'it'.
It, being
whatever
bad we decide
to
do.
But I
think later
it hits
us,
we become
rueful.
But there
is no such
thing as
a mistake, I
believe.
There's
what you
do and what
you
don't
do.
What
ReplyDeletemotivated
you to
do what
you did
must have
been something
unpretty
ugly
powerful
that it happened
in the
first
place.
Why do
we feel
remorse
for the
small things
we do
and
never the
big
things?
Mistakes are mistakes in my opinion. Some worse than others. But it's you who gotta define them. If you define it as a mistake, you're probably right to do so. One can't sugarcoat everything. Some things are worth more than a shrug and an "What's done is done".
ReplyDeleteI'm talking
ReplyDeletelittle things
not big
things.
Little
things can't be
undone.
Like if
your boyfriend
or your
girlfriend
decides to
wanderlust.
It does
and can evolve into
something
big
and
with the
name
'mistake'
but if it's done
and not bothered
it's a little
thing.
It doesn't
have meaning
as it seemed to.
I don't know
if I explained
that correctly, lol.