From the Mind, of the Misunderstood...

I can't deny this feeling. It's there, unsettling. I awake, it staying with me. Like anything else, I try to ignore it being present. But, who am I fooling? Not you, certainly not me. I talk, yet the words I let pour out from my mouth have no value. They are just things I have to say, or need to say to get by. To pass the time. My interest is elsewhere, already devoted to this dark cloud looming. I have accepted it as a part of me, yet at a moments notice I would denounce it.. If I could. I would give anything to just cast it aside like some form of garbage. Like something unimportant and trivial, but it's not. I'm infected, letting it become a whole.. In my being. Is this fear? I once thought I knew what that was, I thought I had mastery over my emotions. It would seem, that it has all been a farce. Or maybe I just diluted my mind in believing I could decipher the difference. Could it have been I have been an egomaniac all this time? Thinking I was above these type of feelings? Elevating myself to some false plateau? Did I just create some illusion?

And now I stand here all alone, nothing more important then one thing. Time. Time, like the sands in an hour glass with just continue to flow. That final grain of sand I will await. I would like to see it coming, but I know that is far fetched. That would be the thoughts of some "Elitist." Humbling really, this is. Yet, that everlasting urge taunts me. I know why, I am here at this desolate area. It was because of me. I alone, made this "Wasteland" per say. Flooding this post, my emotions just pour out. Maybe some will understand, most will not. But we have all carried some underlying pain, it is inevitable as humans. Almost as though, we were born for error. Born for pain, born to self destruct. Take the worst thing anyone you know has experience and dig deep into it. There is always a lesson to be learned in everything, be it a simple theft. Or some sort of brawl, or even a broken relationship. If we do not learn from our mistakes, or the mistakes of others.. History is bound to repeat itself.

What will I do tomorrow, I am unsure. What will you do tomorrow? They say to pursue dreams, and live life with no regrets...

But, that is the words of a maniac.
Maybe I will lose this urge soon..

However, I can't say for sure...

"Loyalty among some, is Priceless. Loyalty among others, is wasted."